I like the atmosphere at the beginning. The percussion is a little dry here, but the luscious chords are nice, and the rhythmic content is pleasant. The kick at :35 is a bit over-saturated in the mix, though. I think you need to rein in your volume levels a bit here. The melodies at :59 are nice, as is the bass at 1:20.
That said, I think you need to do some serious work on the mixing and mastering here. The bass is clearly distorting some of the other instruments in the mix. You can fix that by using an equalizer (often called an EQ in your DAW) to get rid of the lower frequencies in every instrument except the bass and kick. While you’re at it, you also want to lower the volume levels on the drums, then add compressors to make them sound louder anyway. That way, the kick won’t sound this harsh. You can also add reverb to make your drums sound like someone’s playing them in a concert hall, and tons of other cool effects too! Equalization and compression are probably the most important, though - they make your piece sound clear and crisp, as opposed to muddy and distorted (like 1:22 in your piece).
Anyway, the atmosphere, mood, and sound design still get you a lot of credit here, and I like the progression overall too. I thought 1:45 was the beginning of a dreamy breakdown, but then it really comes at 2:08. Maybe some more gradual transitions would help you smooth over some of the structural “fake-outs” you have in the last half of your piece. Going forward, I’d like to see a more dynamic composition as well, with some more melodic development and variation, but I think the mixing should be a priority for you in the near future.
Overall, really nice work with the moody atmosphere, instrumentation, and beats. Keep at it, Osheakami! :)
Mixing, mastering, and balance
.5/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
.75/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.25/2
Instrumentation and sound design
1/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.25/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
.75/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
.25/1
Composite score
5.75/10