I like the cute strings at the beginning. The kick drum has a bit too many higher-end frequencies in there, I think. I would suggest layering some kick samples if you want to make it stronger, but you rarely need any treble tones in your kick. I think you need to work on your transitions quite a bit. You could do a lot more to tell your listener that something is going to change before it does (whether through filtering, drum fills, etc.), and then you need to release the tension built up by the transition after you get where you’re going (through crashes, sweeps, etc.). You have a good sense of harmony, although I’m not sure the vocal samples at :21 fit with the mood very well. They added a sort of dark, heavy vibe to the piece, which I think is the exact opposite of what the strings and bell-like sounds portrayed. I liked the emotional height at :43, and the vocals at :57 added to the piece as well. Still, you have a bit of a bad habit of varying the piece every 4 or 8 bars without really creating an overarching sense of direction to it. The result is that this track is almost jarringly fast-paced at times, such at 1:18. Also, I think you need to do some more careful equalizing on the kick at 1:18, as I can barely hear it. I’d also caution you about the balance at 1:26, as the bass really overwhelms the melody there. The claps at 1:18 was also a little dry. I would’ve added some more reverb. The pacing of this piece is also a little uneven at some points, such as 1:40. For 4 bars, you have this cool rhythmic chord pattern accompanying the vocals, after which you yield to more simplistic and slow-paced string chords. Without any indication that you were going to make such a harmonic shift, it came across as a pretty ineffective way of channeling the energy. I really liked the riffs at 2:08. After the first half of the piece, the second half was comparatively slow to progress. The ending was a bit underwhelming and inconclusive, and I think the last vocal lines at 3:27 were unnecessary. The piece doesn’t have a lot of melodic development or dynamic contrast, and overall I think you could’ve done a lot more to add emotion to the piece. The chord progression is pretty cliche. While I like the variations with the guitar at 3:06, I generally think it’s a compositionally risky idea to introduce new instruments during the last 30 seconds of a piece. Overall, the track isn’t bad. The transitions and mixing issues are probably my main complaints, although there are numerous compositional details that detract from the piece further IMO. Hope that helped. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to PM me. Keep at it, Akaruhime. ;)
6/10