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TaintedLogic

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Again, I'm loving the organic sound here. The vocals are generally strong, and they have this attitude to them that I really like. It's as if you're defensively trying to justify the fact that you're making music. :D The lyrics are good. I think you overused the chorus a bit too much by the end. I also think that you could've enhanced the intensity of the chorus a lot more by simply holding out the notes longer (because I know that reverb and other forms of electronic manipulation aren't really your thing). Despite the generally strong vocals, I thought you briefly went a bit flat around :49, during the last stanza of the first chorus. I understand that you were a bit rushed to record this, though. I like how you have a more hushed tone at :56 just to contrast the verse to the previous chorus. The solos around 1:30 also offered quite welcome structural relief. The production quality seems pretty high, despite the fact the texture is not as full as I'm used to hearing in a lot of other songs. I also thought that the ending was a bit sudden, but I also understand that was part of the edginess and attitude you bring to your pieces, which I generally love. Overall, I obviously like it a lot. It's a fun, short piece with a feel-good down-to-earth vibe to it. I suppose I would like to see you take a few more risks in the future, but as for making good use of the resources you have to make music, you've nailed it! Keep up the great work, Ceevro! ;D

9/10

Ceevro responds:

I wanted to dig a little deeper into this one, and perhaps I still will. The time constraints I had to work with were...well they were nearly impossible. Not your fault, but my own life and various happenings. Not something that you should cut me any slack on, however, because this is a contest, and any issues that I bring to the table are mine and mine alone.

I considered auto-tuning my vocals into perfection, but then deliberately decided against it. This piece was about vulnerability, and obsessively hiding my own inabilities would have destroyed the spirit of the thing. I will, however, spend some time learning how to do more electronic manipulation in the near future, because I do see value in it. That's why I enter these things - to learn!

This was me. As I am. Not to say I can't improve, but certainly not my normal fare of slapping on whatever character I think might suit the lyrics. If my last piece was about fronting, then this was the exact opposite.

Thank you for the helpful review, and for hosting this contest. I've taken a lot away from it, and promise that, whatever the results, you'll see me again next year!

I love the blissful mood and the pizzicato-y synths. It progresses really slowly, though. You also could've filled in some more texture during the first minute or so by using a bit more reverb. I admire your sense of harmony, although in my experience the method of just gradually thickening the texture by adding new instruments often falls flat, and this piece is no exception. That said, when you start taking your harmonies in a new direction at 2:15 it makes the piece sound much more interesting IMO. There is quite a fair bit of repetition in this piece, though, and I didn't think it needed to be nearly this long. I will say that I liked the piano solos that pop in at around 3:50, and the sound design for this piece is rather enjoyable. I liked the idea of ending with that tempo automation, yet I also think you needed a final crash or something just to make it feel as conclusive as possible. I do think that the main theme (0:00) sounds sort of topically mechanical considering the subject of the piece seems to be a watchmaker's daughter. :'D I can picture this song in one of those dress-up flashgames, or otherwise in one of those games where you essentially make virtual pizza. XD Okay, haha. I'm done with the weird ass ideas for videogames now. Keep up the good work, SleepFacingWest. ;D

sleepFacingWest responds:

Thanks for the critique! A lot of the music I'm writing these days under the SleepFacingWest moniker is with the intent of being useful in video games and animation. My friend Kevin (of incompetech.com) criticized some tracks I wrote for him recently saying they were too active and dramatic to be used as underscoring. He maintained that if someone dropped one of my tracks in a video of a dog being funny, and all of the sudden there's a shift in the music but the dog is still being funny, the music will kill the video (and thus be useless). Since then I've been trying to figure out how to keep music moving forward without making use of dramatic shifts, melody changes, or heavy orchestrational tricks like I normally would. One of the solutions I tried with this piece was doubling of extant instruments so the music would change slightly in texture, but not so much that it would steal attention from possible on screen action. That said, as you pointed out, this might not be enough in and of itself. I still need to experiment more to find a balance between music that can stand on it's own but also be useful as scoring material.

The track is loosely programmatic meaning that events in the music correlate specifically to the story written above. A lot of flourishes indicate scene changes where she falls asleep, or suddenly moves from a starving artist in the streets to a famous painter in galleries. The angular piano solo is her eccentric/exotic suitor trying to awkwardly (much to her amusement) woo her. As such, some of the repetitive quality of the music is intentional as it mirrors the mechanical themes of the story (see the piece "Gretchen am Spinnrade" which uses a whirling motive to parallel a young woman spinning yarn as she fantasizes about love). All intent aside, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I fully believe that music shouldn't require an explanation to be good. I'll try something else next time.

I agree with all of your critiques with the exception of the conclusive end. The story ends with her waking up at the clock strike (the orchestral chime) and realizing that it was all just a dream. There's an indication that she has been working on the machine that will create paintings for her (the unfinished clockwork man slumped in the corner) but hasn't really touched it since she has a job to do. I sort of wanted this piece to end inconclusively as it suggests the story goes on, but whether or not she is actually able to realize her artistic dreams or gets stuck at her day job remains to be seen.

As always, thank you for the thoughtful comments. This is very helpful!

I like the atmospheric beginning. The reverb helped enhance the atmospheric vibe, too. The drums are pretty cool, almost breakbeat-style. The sub-bass at :21 is a little too loud. Sounded a bit too in-your-face in my headphones, especially given the somewhat relaxed vibe of the rest of this piece. I liked a lot of the instruments here, but this piece progresses really slowly and probably should not have been this long. You have a good sense of rhythm and harmony, yet there are long sections of this piece that are simply minimalistic to the point of being underwhelming. I wanted to see some more dominant melodic content during the first couple of minutes of this piece. You have some cool arpeggios going at 2:10, but they're also pretty far back in the mix. I really liked the arrival point at around the 3-minute mark. That section probably should've been expanded upon and/or repeated (with slight variations) more often, as it clearly would function well as a refrain/chorus except for the fact that it only plays once 3/5 of the way through the piece. The ending also seemed a bit rushed IMO. I would suggest seriously condensing the first 2.5 minutes of this piece as well as the last 1.5 minutes. You might even be able to squeeze another refrain into the first couple of minutes of the piece if you condense the intro enough. Having one main climax in a piece this long just doesn't work for me to be honest. As it is now, the piece develops too slowly for the arrival point to be as effective as it could be in stimulating the listener's emotions. Still, I liked the instruments, moods, and harmonies. Some moderate structural changes, and this piece would be seriously awesome. I'd encourage you to keep working on it (after the competition, of course), because I think it has a lot of potential. Keep up the good work, PolarTrance. ;)

7.5/10

PolarTrance responds:

Thank you!

One part of the song I hate the most is the ending and here I did rush it, since I panicked at the amount of time I had left (I'm really bad at time management, because deadlines are new for me), and I ended up just putting a tempo slowdown and a distortion effect on it.

With the bass I could've probably have added some form of automation so that it slided in better, but my original idea was that it should bring a feel of seriousness in to the song as the notes before had not give any real emotion out.

I tend to listen to a lot of Techno and that genre has left most melodies sitting outside in the cold and my main inspiration was psytrance (and I guess progressive), so as I tend to make only the music that I want to listen to. Usually that means a 5 minute intro to the actual melody of the song and usually the main melody climax whatevers don't get repeated, but if there would've been something like that in this song, it would have been around 7 minutes.

To me a 3 minute song is way too short, as a radio edit that would be fine, but the minimum is around 4 minutes, 2 minutes is a criminal act in my books, deserving of 5 years in the slammer! :D

Though working on this song more, is an idea that I'm going to try :) I'm going to see if I can make use of them suggestions you just laid on the table...

Ps: As my first music contest I've ever been in, this one was really fun and if I'm still tootin' ye old flstudio on the next years I'd be happy to join again. Meeting all the cool people and the feedback will not be forgotten, so thanks for the invite :3

I liked the feeling of stillness and mystery at the beginning. I liked the instruments you used, and (as you've made clear in the description) this piece really tells a story. I admire your sense of harmony and progression, and the melodies are beautiful. Considering this piece is only 2 minutes long, I thought it could've progressed a bit faster during the first 45 seconds or so. Still, you develop this piece very well structurally, and it's very flowy and smooth. I love the almost medieval vibes instilled by the melody instrument at :47. I thought 1:20 was quite a timely reappearance of the piano from the intro. Despite the large degree of variation crammed into 2 minutes, you still managed to make it coherent enough. I will say that I thought the ending was a bit underwhelming, but perhaps that's a personal grievance more than anything. The mixing is pretty good - I can hear everything clearly. The texture is well-balanced and full. I love how you've managed to cram so many different moods - mystery, furtiveness, adventure, excitement, passion, fatigue, sheer thrill, etc. - into just 2 minutes. Overall, this is clearly fantastic work. Again, I think my favorite attribute of this piece is that it clearly tells a story to the reader. Excellent job, Ylmir! ;D

9.25/10

Ylmir responds:

Thanks a lot for your detailed review ! To be honest, the fact that the introduction is that long compared to the rest, and the ending a bit rushed of the track (although I did want it to end quietly and on a positive note) is most probably because of the lack of time I had. I restarted my project about 4 days before the deadline, and I actually spent two days getting the second section right. With so little time left, I almost had to sum up all the ideas I had for this track after the 1:34 mark, and a small part got completely wiped out from the project. Actually, I'm already happy I've been able to deliver something in time xD
There is something positive about it though. I usually tend to repeat myself a lot, and build around a single idea or two. But with the deadline approaching, "summing it up" really forced me to add a lot of variation, and maybe it contributed to get the piece much more lively, especially since the piece conveys a positive mood.

Thank you again for your analysis ! :)

In my opinion the fade-in technique is a little lazy as an approach to intros. That said, I thought the synths and beats were refreshing and cool. The melodies are innovative without being all-over-the-place, although I did think they could've been a bit more up-front in the mix. The minimalistic drop at :48 seemed a bit out-of-place, although admittedly it did sound pretty unique and creative. Still, this piece starts to have some serious coherence problems at 1:30. That melody might've functioned well as a breakdown later on in the piece, but you need to keep the listener structurally grounded and 1:30 was a step in the wrong direction IMO. I can discern some repeated sections, such as 2:24, but I think you could've done more to tie this piece together structurally. Otherwise, it's kind of confusing to listen to and/or seems to lack direction. I also thought that the ending of this piece didn't sound conclusive enough. This is a really original soundscape you've got here, and I really admire your sense of harmony. The production quality is also very good. However, I want you to think more about the way you structure your pieces. A casual listener should be able to discern the basic structural components of your piece, and the energy/emotion/drama of the piece should be channeled by structural changes. This is why the verse/chorus-based structure works so well in pop. The artist creates contrast between the verse and the chorus so that the emotion-driven intensity of the chorus gives the listener a sort of "high," which the verse then resets so it can happen again. However, I can't discern a repeated chorus in this piece, and the one repeated section that's easy to discern (:48) almost feels like a bridge or breakdown. I'm not saying you have to conform to the verse-chorus structure, but I want you to realize that the structures of most songs are relatively simple and easy-to-follow. You can (and should) vary several aspects of your song's texture between different choruses or verses, but with this piece I honestly found it hard to tell where you wanted the emotional highs and lows to occur for the listener. I've spent enough time talking about that, though. Overall, this is a cool piece that just needs a lot more structural consideration IMO. I'd encourage you to keep working on it (after the contest, of course). It has a lot of potential. I love a lot of the synths and textures here. ;)

7.5/10

TimerClock14 responds:

Thanks for this! I've honestly never been strong at the actual structure of my songs and it's one of my weakest areas as a composer; so this gives me a lot of direction in where I should look to improve.

I love the warm pads at the beginning. It kind of has an organic, almost bright sound, yet at the same time the sweeps at :15 work beautifully. The percussion is a bit dry. I think some reverb might've helped enhance the atmospheric vibe you created here. I think you need a stronger transition at :46, and perhaps at 1:02 as well. You have these cool swells, like at 1:16, but they don't really lead much of anywhere. The progression to this piece is cool, albeit a little slow-paced. You have a full texture and a really unique soundscape here, which I love. I will say that I think you could've heightened the drama/emotion a lot more. You seem to be creating a sort of "after the storm" affect at 3:07, yet you never quite hit a concrete arrival point IMO. I could understand the argument that the emotional height of the piece is 2:19, but I still felt like you could've done more to contribute to the cathartic mood there. The production seems solid. It's a cool piece. You definitely didn't disappoint. You just didn't necessarily go as all-out as I was expecting. There are a few sections - like 1:02 to 1:30 - that seem a bit structurally flat and could use more phrasing to, again, heighten the emotion. Add more phrasing/dynamic contrast here, and this'll be a really solid piece, my friend. Keep up the good work. ;D

8/10

OmegaP responds:

Thanks for the review TaintedLogic! I will take everything that you said into consideration. You are right when you say I did not go all out. I really just wanted a solid piece , but maybe that was not the best idea. Anyways, again thanks for taking the time!

It's short, but I like the mood. You combine the instruments here really well. Almost sounds Far Eastern in a way. It's a cool melody, but I think you could've done a lot more with this. Also, it ends a little suddenly. I think you should've played up the atmospheric nature of this piece by increasing the reverb. That way, you could've used an echo Ping-Pong effect or something at the end to just let the sound melt away. As it is now, it just sort of stops abruptly. Anyway, overall I like it, and I hope I'll be hearing more from you soon, DjGubkafish. ;D

I love all the reverb and echo effects you put on here. They really enhance the mood IMO. While I liked the progression, I think (and I'm sure you know) that you could've done a lot more with this. You got the mood across really well, and I like the atmospheric vibes, though. It loops well, too. Looking forward to the album, man! Keep at it. ;)

larrynachos responds:

Almost 2 months late, but finally, a reply!

I'm glad you liked it, TL! I definitely could have done more with this, but at the time I was almost sick of composing music, so I just wanted to make something short and sweet.

Thanks!

Awesome! I love the space you leave for climax at the beginning, and the distortion at around :25. "Eclipse" had a really cool mood about it. I love the guitar at 1:10 too. "Time Warp" had more of an atmospheric vibe, which I also think is a valued deviation from your traditional style. The vocal samples also added a lot to that piece. Loved the dark sense of mystery in "Alternate Reality," and the arpeggios later on added a lot to that mood too. The drop at 3:12 was really cool. The mixing is really good across all of these tracks too. It seems like you have a lot of variety across tracks within the EP, at least as far as mood, but I think you could've tried using a wider variety of instruments and textures. I loved the synths at 4:15. "Blood Moon" also has a really edgy, cool mood to it. "Final Frontier" sounds a lot like your classic style, DM. ;) I'm really excited for this EP! You've clearly put a lot of work into it. Nice job, guys! ^^

Hi. I'm Andrew. Audio portal junkie since 2010, supporter since 2017. I always want to improve what I do! I make music, run the NGUAC, post poetry on BBS, and am the all-time #2 audio reviewer. I love this site, and I want to make it the best I can! ^_^

Andrew Mikula @TaintedLogic

Age 27, Male

Policy Research

Bates College

Wellesley, Massachusetts

Joined on 8/16/12

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