I like that synth at the beginning, but I think the rhythm is a bit disorienting at times. Couldn't hurt to have a beat earlier on or some harmonies to support the rhythmic structure. I think the real problem is that there are just too many notes in there, man, and you should stick to some simpler rhythms and focus more on the progression and variations. Eventually, when you get a feel for rhythm more, it'll be easier to know what sounds jarring and what doesn't. It also really helps if you play a musical instrument. This piece is short, which is okay, but what really bothers me is that there's not a lot of structural variation (breakdowns, bridges, verse-chorus play-off, etc.), melodic development, or dynamic contrast. The harmonies were also a little jarring at times, but I think that might just partly be because you have too much going on in there. The reverb kind of gave it a nice spacey feel, but it also added to the disorienting nature of the rhythms. Overall, I think it has some potential - you have some good ideas in here. However, it needs more variation. Try fleshing out these ideas more, simplifying them if necessary, while still keeping it smooth-flowing and coherent. This is challenging, I know - but once you learn to find a balance between coherence and variation, it makes your pieces all the more pleasant to listen to. It's just that this one is WAY on the too-coherent end, okay? ;) Keep working at it, man! ^^