I like the frantic arpeggios and bright-sounding lead at the beginning. The drums are a bit weak in the mix, though. Some more compression might help them “pop” more. The sound design itself is good - plenty of cutesy melody instruments and smooth pads.
The piece could use a tad more structuring, though. I know it’s intended for use in a video game, but the progression is basically a series of meandering melodies one after another, and after a while they blend together in my mind. None of them feel like they’re contributing to an overarching narrative or informing each other. Part of the problem may be that some of them have a lot of excess ornamentation. A good example is the part between 3:48 and 3:54 - you could achieve the same progression with way fewer notes, which would in turn help orient the listener to the direction you’re going in (i.e., the more low-register melody that follows it) a lot better.
Aside from the melodies, I can tell that the piece loops well, and I commend you for having a full, well-balanced texture throughout. Like I said earlier, I really like the sound design here. For a stand-alone piece, I just expected the melodic phrases to be a bit more broken-up and interspersed with verses/breakdowns/atmospheric sections. Still, you’ve put together a catchy and fun piece here, CommanderJersey! Keep it up! :)
Mixing, mastering, and balance
1.25/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
.5/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.75/2
Instrumentation and sound design
1/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.25/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
.75/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
1/1
Composite score
7.5/10