I like the haunting ambiance at the beginning. The cello melody at :14 is lovely, and I like how the rest of the atmosphere slowly bleeds in until around :45. The rhythm is a bit square, and overall the piece feels a bit slow to progress. The rich texture at 1:30 is a treat, but the melody line struggles to sit on top of the mix like I want it to. Maybe some more careful equalization, especially in the bottom end of the frequency range, is in order there.
The piano solo at 2:15 is nice for some structural variety, and the transition back to electronica at 2:45 went over smoothly. I can barely hear the claps at 3:00. The build-up into 3:37 is nice, although I wasn’t a huge fan of the percussion instruments during the drop itself. The drop section is also a bit over-compressed, but I like the reverb automations at 4:30 or so.
The pizzicato-y synth pattern at 4:40 does a nice job of “resetting” the piece, and while I like the beat at 5:07, I think this section drags on for a tad too long. Even with the transitory section at 5:37, the heavy drop at 5:53 was a tad unexpected, and also had some pretty slow pacing and over-repetition. I also think the transition back into the dreamy pads at 6:53 could’ve been smoother and more gradual. That said, the 6:53 section does tie the piece together nicely, and the mellow outro is a nice touch as well.
Overall, I think this piece is harmonically cohesive enough that it could benefit from some faster pacing at times. It doesn’t quite have enough novelty to hold my attention for all of these 9+ minutes, and some sections (especially the first 3 minutes and the middle section from 4:40-6:53) could’ve been shortened substantially. You’ve clearly poured a ton of creative energy into the mixing effects and atmosphere, and it shows: other than the exceptions I’ve mentioned the mix is fairly clean and distinct throughout. The sound design is well-varied and solid. It’s really polishing the arrangement details (smoothing over some rough transitions, better channeling the energy through pacing, etc.) that could really take this piece to the next level. Still, congratulations on a momentous accomplishment in this piece, Mark! Keep at it. ^_^
Mixing, mastering, and balance
1.5/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
1/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.75/2
Instrumentation and sound design
1/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.25/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
.5/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
1/1
Composite score
8/10