I like the ominous mood at the beginning, but the chord progression sounds a bit bizarre (maybe it’s partly because there’s a big pitch jump between each note). The part at :07 is a bit atonal, but I like the smooth, mellow synth pads. The mix seems a bit off balance - I think the main synth riff should be a bit louder, and the glitchy rhythmic elements should be a tad quieter. You might even consider adding a bit of reverb to the glitchy elements so that they blend into the atmosphere a bit more. The bridge with the creepy bells at 1:02 is cool, if a bit minimal after 1:16.
Overall, I have a few suggestions. First, this piece could use some more traditional drums (in addition to the percussive elements you already have) to give it a stronger sense of energy and continuity. Second, it’s worth smoothing over some of the rough transitions in this piece, like at :41 and 1:36. There are many ways to do that, but the stop-start one at :39 feels a bit unnecessary, and at 1:34 or so the synth pads could simply play a bit of a melodic filler riff in advance of 1:36 to signify that they’re about to play a more prominent role in the texture (which they do at 1:36).
Third, in retrospect, the four chords at the intro feel out-of-place, and you could probably just delete them and dive right into the action at :06, especially if you expect this song to loop in the video game you’re making. Lastly, as I mentioned earlier, I would play up the idea that the mid-range synth pads are the “main thing” going on at a time, both by making them louder in the mix relative to the other elements, and potentially also by moving them up an octave for dramatic effect at some point.
This piece is definitely a good start between the ominous mood and neat sound design, though. Keep at it, Zhane9IsLame! ^_^
Mixing, mastering, and balance
1/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
.75/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.25/2
Instrumentation and sound design
.75/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
.75/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
.5/1
Composite score
6/10