I like the bouncy piano riff at the beginning. The drums don’t really come through the mix very clearly, especially the snare. I’d suggest adding a bit of compression to the drums, and also making sure that you’ve removed the frequencies below around 200 Hz from the piano, which should help the kick pop a bit more. The piano lead should probably be dialed back a bit volume-wise, especially since you’ve got so much reverb on there. The transition effect at :17 sounds a bit grating, especially in the upper end of the frequency range. The breakdown harmonies at :34 are nice, and the transition back into the more energetic section at 1:06 was really smooth.
In general, the melodic content in this piece is great, and I love the lively jazzy harmonies too. My biggest complaint is with the mixing/balance of the frequencies. Rein in the lead piano and transition effects a bit and add some punch to the drums, and this would be a top-tier track. It also couldn’t hurt to flesh out the structure a bit more, maybe with an expanded instrumental palette in the middle of the piece, but that’s of secondary concern for me. Really cool rhythmic content and strong sense of narrative with this one - I like it a lot. Keep at it, octopuswindow! ^_^
Mixing, mastering, and balance
1/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
1/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
2/2
Instrumentation and sound design
1/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.25/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
1/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
1/1
Composite score
8.25/10